Green Twenty-Thirteen

Twenty-Thirteen, Boys and Girls. We made it.
Resolution Number One:

     Be more green. Recycle, compost, all that.  Don't be wasteful.

So here's several surprising uses for used coffee grounds you probably didn't know about:

Cellulite Reducer:

     No lie. Apply a mixture of 1/4 cup RECENTLY-used coffee grounds and 1 tablespoon olive or coconut oil to "problem areas" and saran wrap it up for a bit. This must be done about twice a week, for  an indefinite amount of weeks until it works.  And Ta-da! Enjoy your new life without cellulite. Be the slut you always wanted to be, but couldn't.
     Note, when I say 'recently-used' I don't mean scalding hot. Please use your common sense. I mean still warm, maybe a little bit steamy, but not hot enough to peel your ass off.

Add Coffee Grounds to Your Conditioner:

     Seriously. They're great for your hair. If you mix them in when they're fresh, they'll keep in your conditioner, presumably. Your hair will shine like a diamond in no time. I'm sure if you wanted, you could put them in your shampoo, but they'll come out easier in the conditioner. But careful, don't leave it in too long or it might...

Dye:

     Just kidding, it won't dye your hair. I don't think. But it will dye other things, for instance if you want to antique paper. Also functions as a natural easter egg dye, however, the eggs would presumably come out brown, in which case you might as well buy brown eggs in the first place.

Cleaning:

     Coffee grounds are excellent for cleaning for two reasons: for one thing they're good for scrubbing. Coffee is also mildly acidic. Be careful what you decide to clean using coffee grounds, however... I mean use your common sense. Clean the fridge or countertop, but not the carpet. Like I said, coffee functions as a dye.

Plus It's Great for Your Garden!

     Not only do coffee grounds supply the earth with crucial nutrients, but they also function as a natural bug repellant. Sprinkle on the ground to repel ants, snails and slugs. Coffee grounds are especially useful for growing mushrooms, if that's what you're into.
     If I had my own place, I'd pack up all the pucks and used coffee grounds and either sell them, or give them to the local nursery. That way I look eco-friendly. It would be a win-win, for my place as well as the nursery, and we'd all live happily ever after. I have such good ideas.