Magic Beans

            You may have heard (depending on how in touch you are with the media… I blog my ass off and didn’t hear a damn thing about it ‘til today) about Green Coffee Bean Extract, America’s most recent fat-burning fad. Coffee beans, until roasted, have the ability to melt away your excess fat, but only in their raw, un-roasted form. The magic beans work on account of the Chlorogenic Acid. You just take, depending on the dose, usually three capsules a day, one at a time, a half hour or so before eating.

            The capsules claim to do all the work for you, so that if you don’t change your exercise and eating habits, the supplement will still ultimately reduce your dress size. Perfect for the average lazy American! Get your Green today!

            Sorry I keep selling stuff. I can’t help it. I’m taking a copywriting course and now all I do is advertise…

            Anyway! It’s cheap and safe so no real risk. Here’s Google’s top-rated choice of Green Coffee Bean Extract, but there’s about a billion distributors—just be careful, because this green coffee bean thing took off so fast, the second it aired on Dr. Oz, so there’s a lot of supplements claiming to contain considerably more chlorogenic acid than they do, so avoid anything super sketchy, or that’s inexplicably cheaper than the rest.

            Good luck burnin' off that booty.